Hey ladies. Today’s Sunday Chat is going to be a little bit different than the others. When I was planning my blog and all of the content that I wanted to create, I knew I wanted to dedicate a weekly post to kind of catch up with you guys and really sit down and write. My hope is that as time goes on, I’ll be able to dedicate these posts to answering your questions and covering topics that you all want me to write about. But for now, while PLH is still fairly new, I’ve been writing things that I want to share (i.e. this story-time style post about moving to NYC, or this more photo-heavy post giving you a look at my apartment for fall) and today I want to try a more casual, chit-chat style post. In short, it was a bit of a rough week and I found myself feeling very overwhelmed and very stressed. Self-care is something that I 100% support and recommend for times like this. Here’s how I got myself back together and my top five ways to reset and recharge when you ‘just can’t’ with life anymore.
1. Let it out
First things first, I’m a pretty emotional person. Not that I walk around crying all the time, but I definitely tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and my mood is definitely susceptible to fluctuations based on the situation I’m in. That being said, this week at work was rough. I found myself working on a couple of projects that I truly just wasn’t feeling and they started to drain me. That, coupled with other personal stresses (bills, life, ya know—the usual), really got to me on Friday and as embarrassed as I am to say this…I cried at work. Yes, cringe! I know that’s so awful. I’m so embarrassed to even admit it but I want to keep this blog as real as possible and I feel this is important.
To clarify, I didn’t boohoo cry at my desk or in the open or even with any coworkers around (I have some pride ya know!). I felt myself on the brink of tears and found a quiet, private room in the office to just let it out and here’s why. I’m the kind of person that if I need to cry or am feeling overwhelmingly upset/frustrated, it’s best for me to just let it out. If I let it build, it could last for hours or even days and will only get worse and likely end up in an explosion. Nobody needs that. So instead of trying to bottle up my emotions, I find a private place and I let them go. Sometimes you just need a good cry, you know? And while I only let about 10 tears fall at work before getting myself together, it definitely helped relieve some of the tension within me. I didn’t feel 100% better but I wasn’t on the brink of tears anymore, which is important.
After I let it out, or sometimes if I can get away with not freaking out, I just remind myself to breathe. I know that everyone says this and you probably rolled your eyes when you saw this as #2, but breathing seriously can alleviate so much stress and help you think more clearly. I like to close my eyes, take a literal step back from what I’m doing and take a few deep breaths. I don’t even want to put a number on it, just as many as I feel I need to calm down.
I also like to take this time to remind myself that everything is okay and whatever is going on that’s stressing me, probably isn’t that serious. Even if I don’t fully believe it at first, it helps to repeat this in my mind a few times because it’s usually true. I try to remind myself that in x amount of time, this won’t even matter anymore. (Or after 5 pm that day, I won’t even have to think about it anymore, ha!)
3. Pamper Yourself
Now on days like last Friday, I take it upon myself to seriously pamper myself to make myself feel better. I don’t even mean a luxurious spa day or expensive retail therapy (which are all great options honestly, ha!), I just mean doing things that I personally love and that help me relax. For me, that usually includes reading a good book, lighting a candle, and taking a hot shower or bubble bath. Sometimes it’s just nice to wash the bad day off of you. When I step out of that bathroom, I feel like a new woman. It’s a metaphorical and literal way to refresh yourself, and I love it.
I also love to treat myself on days like this. I’ll order from one of my favorite restaurants on Seamless or bake some cookies, whatever I’m craving that day. Emotional eating obviously isn’t a good thing and relying on food to solve your problems definitely isn’t the way to go, BUT sometimes you deserve a freaking a cupcake after a rough day. #TreatYoSelf
4. Write it Out
This next step is something I highly recommend for those times when you feel like you’re in a rut or you’re overwhelmed with a bunch of things going on in your life. At times like this, I like to sit down and make a list of everything that’s bothering me. It can be big things like bill/monetary stress, or missing an important appointment or fighting with Craig; and also includes the smaller things like cracking my iPhone screen, my nail polish being chipped, and stressing about cleaning up the apartment because it has gotten a little messy. I write it all down, no matter how big or small. This does two important things.
First, it helps you gain perspective. Sometimes when I’m overwhelmed, I feel like everything on the planet is wrong, when that’s just not true. I’ll surprise myself with how short the list actually is (or how insignificant some of the things I wrote down are, hah) and I feel better just for getting it out.
Secondly, it makes all of those things feel more fixable. If I can see things that are wrong, I can figure out how to fix them. I basically look at it like a very annoying to-do list. I start with the small things and fix those first. Crossing those babies off motivates me to do more things and makes me feel better all at the same time. By the time that list is all checked off, I feel like I can take on the world and my brain is no longer cluttered with everything that’s wrong because I just took care of it all! (Also it’s important to note that this process doesn’t always go down in one day. Sometimes the big things are too big to quickly fix, and that’s okay! The important thing is that you keep tackling the things that are bothering you.)
5. Talk to Someone
My last tip may be another obvious one but I can’t stress how important this one is, especially for me. I mentioned in this post that I’m a very communicative person; I love talking about feelings and talking things through when I need to make a decision. Plus talking it out with someone else can give you new perspective and fresh solutions that maybe you wouldn’t have thought of on your own (two heads are better than one!).
For this, I always go to my mom, my boyfriend Craig and/or my best friends. Mama always knows best, and we have the kind of relationship where she can always make me feel better no matter how bad I think something is. Craig is probably one of the best listeners I know, so it’s always helpful talking to him about things because while he’s willing to help with solutions, he’s also willing to just let me vent. And friends are great because since they’re also my age and some even live in NYC too, they can understand what I’m going through and usually relate more than I expect them to.
All of those things help me to feel lighter and less like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. It’s important to remember that when we feel like that, there’s more than likely a few people that we are close to that are willing to help us with that burden. Remember that you are never alone in this crazy thing called life.
What do you guys think? I love that this post coincides with the first day of the month so that if any of you are feeling like you’re in a rut, maybe some of these tips can help get you back on track for October. Honestly I wasn’t even planning to post this today (I actually had plans for a new series to start but that’ll have to wait!) but I always say that I want this space to be real and when I found myself crying on Friday, I felt like this post was necessary. Look at me making lemons out of lemonade 😉 have a wonderful Sunday dolls!